I never claimed to be timely or on top of things.

2/4/13

A: According to this lady's cruise bag, there is a place called Flaam. :D
A: Flaam (or flam with a little circle above the a) is a fjord in Norway. Their railway system is called flamsbana, and their port authority, flam hamn.

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2/7/13

Z: I'm dripping on Diversey next to a woman who looks like a mailbox upholstered in mink. She has a crewcut and an umbrella you could spear fish with.

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2/12/13

A: Omgomgomg my cab driver is saying the rosary. I'm gonna die.

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2/17/13

A: Just got an email invite to chicago singles meet-up "swingers ball." I thought it was awfully...progressive of them until I clicked it and it's for swing dancing.

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2/18/13

A: Tourists on the brown line, just about to go over the Wells bridge: "Oh, look at the beach!" "We see beach everyday."
 (fyi: you can see the river and some buildings, but the beach is nowhere near visual range of the Wells Street bridge.)

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2/27/13

A: Stopped by DePaul's student center for dinner before an appt. Pretty sure that was a pic of a hogtied woman on that boy's laptop screen. Using DePaul wi-fi. He wins.

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3/1/13

Z: A man on the train platform just quoted the bible while talking about his dick.

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3/5/13

BA to me: Just got soaked by a cab. Thought of you.

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3/11/13

A, 8:08am: Bus driver has yelled at us 3 times to hold onto the rails for our safety. We're going 2mph. I think at one point he must have sent someone through the window.
A, 8:27am: I think the bus driver's lost now. South Water isn't supposed to be on our route.
A, 8:35am: And now we stopped for a green light and he's rambling at me.

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4/8/13

A: It's pouring. Seagull don't care.

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4/9/13

A: I just watched a gross woman roll a cigarette on the bus, from beginning to end. I had no idea they sold that stuff in economy bags.
Z: (lost his response, something about watching his dad doing it before and it being impressive she could do so on the bus)
A:  I didn't say she did a good job.

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4/24/13

A: Omg, guy on the bus across from me has "i hate my mom" tattooed on his FOREHEAD.

A: If I could only take a pic without dying...

A, to friend JE who loves the meme: There's a woman across from me on the bus, I couldn't figure out why she seemed familiar. She looks like grumpy cat.

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4/26/13

A: Remember the "clean up your pee" message in the train bathroom? It's been corrected for grammar. :)

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4/29/13

A: You're missing out. One of the girls behind me is prepping for a lakefront tour guide test. Yesterday they made her change a bike tire 30 times.

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4/30/13

A: Sign in a watch shop that does repairs: water proof test

Later on, different shop:

Z: In 'Heard on the Street' in the latest TimeOut: "Taste this. Is it water or vodka?' Didn't you say that to me? Have we been spied upon?

A: Nah, mine was vodka or plain sprite. Or vodka or gin.

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5/2/13

A, to work colleague: I'm early again. I'm unintentionally getting my shit together. nervewracking.

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5/4/13

A, to work colleague: Just saw a guy with a fantastic t-shirt: sleep now, work later.

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5/10/13

A: Little old lady on the bus, can barely walk, swearing like a sailor. A lot. Almost like tourette's.

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5/12/13

A: Watched a pigeon walk into the middle of the street, almost got hit. He went back to the curb, walked to the crosswalk, then walked completely across the street when the light was red. They're learning.

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5/19/13

A: My neighborhood smells like the zoo. Not just manure, the ZOO. So confused.

A: Also, senior citizen who can barely walk with the phrase "I want to lift and firm my booty" on the back of his shirt.

A: Omg, the front says "My sweetheart likes knee pads and gerbils."

Z: Wow. Those pants are pretty fuckin sweet there, too.

Z: The fountain at Lincoln Square is a bubble bath now.





Whoops

Uh, wow, ok...happy new year? Here's through January.

9/27/12

A: Dear lord, punk guy on my bus wearing a leather vest half covered in metal spikes and half covered in bullet casings(!).

And later, 4/24/13

A: Remember bullet casing jacket guy? Got the back. The gold ones are casings.

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12/19/12

A: Standing at a bus stop, hipster filming himself driving. Not looking at the camera, not talking, just looking at the red stop light.

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12/26/12

Z: I'm walking by the Blommer chocolate factory in River North. It's like the wind is made of brownies.

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1/12/13

A: Guy who lives above Spin, in wife beater, leans out window, screams "it's my money and I need it now!" complete with the requiste hand gestures.

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1/13/13

A: You know how cold it is, right? I was just at a bus stop with a guy smoking skunky pot and two women with beta fish.

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1/15/13

A: So far on this bus ride, a girl had a seizure, and a man 'stealthily' opened a bottle of wine(?) in his duffle, poured it into an old sunny-d container, and is now drinking it.

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1/17/13

A: Hmm, I wonder why there's practically no one on this rush hour bus. Oh, I know, it's because it smells like skunk. Great.

A: Aww, little old guy on the bus has an old radio walkman, complete with extendable antenna. So cute.

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1/23/13

A: The one time I decide not to get involved, they break my neighbor's door down. I assumed (wrongly) that the firefighters would have some sort of file or one of them would remember from last time that our head maintenance guy lives downstairs.

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1/25/13

A: OCD girl on the bus who wears gloves during summer isn't wearing gloves today. Too cold for germs to live?

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1/26/13

A: omg this cab ride. Jamaican music and the driver's phone's ringtone is a duck.

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1/29/13

A: College buy on the train has his laptop without case, iphone, and jimmy john's in his hands. Easy mark. Good thing I'm a relatively decent person.

Z: Did you read that they had to make quilted vests for the imported ostriches because North Korea is so cold?
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1/30/13

A: Somewhere in this city is a graffiti artist whose tag is a blue super mario bros. 3 mushroom. This makes me so happy.

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1/31/13

A: OH- it's kinda hard to pass up silly putty, you know?